Watching someone you care about go through IVF can be tough. You want to help, but you might feel unsure of what to say or how to say it. Maybe you’re worried about saying the wrong thing. Or perhaps you’re feeling the strain too, and you don’t want to make things harder.
Whether you’re a partner, a friend, or a family member — your support can make a world of difference. And even if you don’t have all the answers (spoiler: no one does), just showing up can mean everything.
Here’s how to support someone you care about as they go through IVF.
IVF can feel incredibly personal. Some people want to talk about every scan and symptom, while others prefer to keep things private.
The best thing you can do? Follow their lead.
Try asking, “Do you feel like talking about it today?” or “Would you rather chat about something else?” Giving them permission to set the pace shows respect and gives them space to open up when they’re ready.
You might want to jump in with suggestions or offer ways to help – but often, they just want someone to listen.
It’s OK to not have solutions. You don’t need to know all the medical terms or understand every step of their treatment. Just being there, without judgement or pressure, is enough.
If you’re not sure what to say, try: “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
When emotions are high, well-meaning comments can sometimes land the wrong way. Try to steer clear of phrases like:
Even if said with the best intentions, these kinds of comments can feel dismissive or minimise what they’re going through.
Instead, try being honest and present: “I can’t imagine how hard this is, but I’m here with you.”
IVF can be physically and mentally draining. Offering help with everyday things can lift a huge weight — especially during treatment cycles.
You might offer to:
Small, thoughtful gestures go a long way.
You don’t need to become a fertility expert overnight — but understanding the basics can help you feel more confident in your support.
IVF involves scans, injections, medication, waiting, and a fair bit of uncertainty. Knowing what your friend or partner is going through can help you better understand their mood, energy levels, and needs.
You can find simple, clear info on our IVF process here — or ask them if they want to talk through it with you.
There might be moments they don’t want to talk, join social events, or respond to messages right away. It’s not personal — it’s just hard.
IVF often brings up grief, hope, fear, and frustration — all at once. Giving them space when they need it is another form of support.
Let them know: “No pressure to reply — I’m thinking of you and I’m here when you need.”
Supporting someone through IVF can stir up big emotions — especially if you’re also hoping to grow your family, or you’ve been through something similar yourself.
Make sure you’ve got someone to talk to. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Being honest about your own emotions doesn’t make you less supportive — it makes you human.
This journey is yours too.
It's common to feel helpless at times, especially if you’re not the one going through the physical treatment. But your role is essential — emotionally, practically, and sometimes medically.
You might be attending appointments, giving injections, or helping manage medication. But even outside of those moments, your presence matters more than you think.
Share how you’re feeling too. IVF is intense, and talking openly (even if it’s messy) can strengthen your connection. You’re in this together.
IVF isn’t just clinical — it’s deeply emotional. And while we guide our patients medically, your support helps carry them through the rest.
If you’re ever unsure how to help, start simple:
Listen. Be there. Ask how they’re doing. Respect their space.
It might not feel like much, but to someone going through IVF, it could mean everything.