When Charlie and Tom started trying for a baby, IVF wasn’t something they expected. But after a miscarriage, a failed round abroad, and more questions than answers, they turned to Care Fertility Tamworth. With expert support and a personalised approach, they finally felt like they were on the right path. Now, they’re sharing their story, both here and on TikTok, to help others feel less alone and remind them there’s always a way forward.
When it all began
We met in 2015, and even in those early days, we were already talking about starting a family. We found an old message from that year that said, “I can’t wait to surprise you and tell you I’m pregnant.” It’s always been something we looked forward to.
We decided to wait until after our wedding to start trying. We were due to get married in 2020, but like many, we had to postpone because of Covid. Eventually, we tied the knot in 2021 and began trying for a baby straight after our honeymoon.
We were so naive. I had an app on my phone where I could switch it to “trying to get pregnant” mode, and we just assumed it would happen quickly. It was like, so when you get pregnant, then this, then that - we genuinely thought it was going to be that straightforward. We genuinely believed we’d be one of those couples who try once and fall pregnant. We were that annoyingly smooth sailing couple; things had always gone to plan for us. So of course, we thought this would too.
A devastating setback
After trying for eight months, we fell pregnant naturally and couldn’t believe it - all our dreams had come true!
Sadly, we experienced a miscarriage. It was one of the hardest things we’ve been through. I coped by telling myself we’d try again straight away and that it would happen quickly. People often say, “You’re more fertile after a miscarriage,” and I really clung to that hope. But it didn’t happen.
We were both willing to try anything to help us conceive, so We saw a fertility expert who gave us loads of advice. We started to try everything we could, I began having reflexology. Meanwhile, Tom made some big lifestyle changes of his own. He was told not to drink tap water, avoid long car journeys and hot tubs, and completely cut out beer - including his favourite, Guinness. We were doing all we could, in every way we knew how.
After a few months and still not falling pregnant, we spoke to the fertility expert and she said it was time to get tested. Tom was tested on the NHS and found out he had low sperm morphology. He was told that this meant half of his sperm worked, and the other half didn’t. I was still on a long NHS waiting list, and it felt like no one could give me a straight answer. I remember thinking, 'How long is a piece of string?' I decided that I just couldn’t wait any longer for these tests. So, we decided that I would go for private fertility tests. That’s when we found out I had low AMH and FSH, which meant I had a low ovarian reserve.
That’s when we were told IVF was our best chance, and that we needed to start sooner rather than later. We asked the clinic where we’d had our tests, who didn’t offer IVF themselves, whether we should try going through the NHS. They were honest with us and said the waitlist was around 18 months. They didn’t think we had that time on our side, especially with my low ovarian reserve.
Facing the unknown
Being told we needed IVF was overwhelming. It felt like a whole new world, and we didn’t know anyone who had gone through it. Fertility struggles just weren’t something people talked about.
Once we started sharing our journey, we were shocked by how many people reached out. So many had gone through similar experiences but hadn’t spoken about it. We realised just how much of a taboo fertility struggles still are - and we wanted to change that.
That’s what motivated us to share our experience and start speaking up, because we knew we couldn’t be the only ones going through it quietly.
We wanted to be open about everything - especially Tom’s experience.
Tom: “From my perspective, it was tough. I had my own issues to process, and it made me feel like I was to blame. There’s this guilt that creeps in. But the hardest part was watching Charlie go through it all, the scans, the injections, the miscarriage, and feeling completely helpless. I wasn’t the one being prodded or poked, but I was still in it. You don’t feel like you have the right to complain, but it absolutely affects you. You’re just trying to support your partner the best you can.”
That’s why we started posting on TikTok. We wanted to make conversations about fertility struggles, especially from the male perspective, feel more normal. It’s such a common experience, but nobody talks about it. We wanted to break that narrative. If just one couple watched our story and felt less alone, or if one guy saw Tom’s video and thought, “OK, I’m not alone,” then it was all worth it.
Our first round of IVF – going abroad
Money was obviously a big factor as well as part of our journey. So, we ended up going to Spain initially to begin our treatment, and this was also the point where we started sharing our journey online. For me, it became a bit of an online journal - a way to get things off my chest, keep a record, and feel a little less alone. I think it was also a release for both of us, a small escape during what was an overwhelming time. As soon as we began sharing, everything felt a little less daunting.
We began our IVF treatment abroad in Spain. The clinic was brilliant, and we’ll always be grateful for everything they did. But it was tough in more ways than one. Charlie has - and still does, to an extent - a huge needle phobia, which made the injections one of the hardest hurdles. That first injection took over an hour.
We tried to make light of it, creating a little routine - playing music, using ice packs, giving each other a kiss after every jab. There was even a time we had to do an injection in the toilets at Alicante airport because our flight was delayed and it had to be done on time.
Our first egg retrieval gave us three eggs. The clinic didn’t think it was worth going ahead with a transfer at that stage, so we did another round of stimulation and got another three.
Charlie: “I went from one injection to three a night. That fear never went away, but the strength kicked in - because we knew what we were doing it for.”
But not all the embryos made it through the thawing process - something we hadn’t even considered. You think you’ll do IVF and walk away with a baby, but it doesn’t work like that. Not every egg fertilises. Not every embryo makes it to blastocyst. It’s a constant learning curve.
Altogether we ended up with six eggs, four of which fertilised, and one embryo made it to transfer. That day was magical. Then the two-week wait begins, and you’re technically pregnant until proven otherwise, and you float around in this strange little bubble - waiting, hoping, questioning everything.
Unfortunately, the transfer didn’t work. We had nothing left. No embryos frozen. We were right back at square one, and it crushed us.
In saying that, we do still look back on the experience with some fondness. We gave it everything. We remember the chaos of that Alicante injection moment and laugh now, proud that we got through it. Even though it didn’t work, it shaped us. It made us stronger, both as individuals, and as a couple.
Moving forward with Care Fertility
So, we sort of reached out to our community and said we were looking at the UK now purely for personal circumstances. We couldn’t really afford to, or take time off work anymore, to go abroad. The difference this time was that we had knowledge on our side.
Everybody we spoke to just raved about Care Fertility. We did have consultations with a few different clinics, we didn’t want to put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak, but we got that gut feeling with Care Fertility Tamworth straight away. We were sat on the sofa doing a virtual consultation with one of the consultants, and we just knew. It’s hard to describe, but we felt seen, and listened to, and that really mattered.
Our protocol was based on everything we’d learned and the team explained every change. With my low ovarian reserve and previous low retrieval numbers (just three eggs both times), we decided on a multi-cycle package with ICSI. This gave us our best chance, and some breathing space in case we had another failed transfer.
The medication protocol was similar to what I’d done abroad, but this time with an additional injection each night. That made things more intense. My hormones felt all over the place at times, but we just kept thinking about the bigger picture. Every time I had to inject, we’d remind ourselves: this is what gives us our chance.
We continued sharing our journey online, and honestly, that helped us cope. IVF can be brutal - not just physically, but emotionally. Being open isn’t for everyone, but for us, having a support system made all the difference. Even if it’s just one person in your corner, that support is everything. We took it one day at a time and did our best to be kind to ourselves and each other.
The moment that changed everything
It was the 21st of December, and I was heading into my second-last day at work before Christmas. There was no way we were making it through the whole day without testing. We’d always said we wouldn’t test early, and that we'd wait the entire two weeks, so when it got to test day - it was go time.
Tom: “The day before, Charlie had convinced herself it hadn’t worked. That actually helped us go into it with lower expectations.”
Looking back, I think it was a way of protecting ourselves. We’d been here before. I’d had no symptoms this time, unlike last time when I was convinced I was pregnant. Telling ourselves it hadn’t worked felt safer.
That morning, I woke up early and took the test - but didn’t look at it. A friend had suggested that because it was so close to Christmas, we should wrap it and open it together under the tree. So, I wrapped it in Disney paper, we set up the camera and stood in front of the tree together.
We always said we’d share it, whatever the result - because social media so often only shows the good bits. But we wanted to show everything. The real journey.
When we opened the test, it was like the world just stopped. We saw those two lines and were hit with every emotion possible. We hugged, screamed, laughed, cried. Our dog was running around the room wondering what on earth was happening. It had actually worked. Science had worked. And in that moment, it was the most magical, surreal, incredible feeling.
Pregnancy after infertility
Pregnancy wasn’t the easy ride we imagined. Charlie had severe morning sickness up to 16 weeks, and as strange as it sounds, she was overjoyed about it at first. It reassured her that she was still pregnant and that the baby was growing. But by the time she hit the 16-week mark, she was absolutely sick of being sick.
And the nerves never really left. Before every scan, we’d hold our breath. We don’t know if that’s the case for everyone or if it’s because of everything we’d already been through - infertility, miscarriage, failed transfers. When you’ve carried that kind of vulnerability and desperation, every scan feels like a mountain to climb. But the relief of hearing the heartbeat, of seeing movement, was everything.
At around nine weeks, we had a scare. Charlie woke up bleeding in the middle of the night. It was too early to go to hospital, so we booked a private scan for the next day. That wait was torture, lying there in the dark, not knowing what to do, not wanting to call anyone. It was terrifying. Thankfully, everything was OK. Even after that, every time Charlie went to the toilet, there was that moment of panic. The fear never really goes.
We shared that experience online too, and the response was overwhelming. So many people reached out to say they’d been through the same thing but had never talked about it.
Falling pregnant was one hurdle, but staying pregnant was another challenge entirely. Mentally, it was a lot. We just kept telling ourselves to take things one step at a time.
Once we got to 24 weeks, it felt like a turning point. We let ourselves breathe a little. Before that, we hadn’t bought a single thing. We didn’t find out the gender, but we did all the old wives’ tales and kept the pram at someone else’s house, just in case.
And a year later, we were sitting in front of the same tree, but this time, we were holding our Christmas miracle in our arms. It still doesn’t feel real when we think about it. But we really did it!
Advice to others
This month, we’ve been reflecting on our journey and everything we’ve been through. We are so proud of ourselves. It wasn’t easy, and there were times when it felt impossible. But now, being on the other side, we can say without hesitation - we would do it all again in a heartbeat to have our baby girl in our arms.
Charlie: “You’re stronger than you think. There’ll be moments you feel broken, but you can do this. Talk about it, even if it’s to one person. And know that you’re not alone.”
Tom: “Lean on each other. You’ll take turns being strong for one another. We always said: we’re in this together.”
If you’re about to start your own fertility journey, just know that you are never alone. You are stronger than you think. Make sure you have a support system, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. There is no such thing as a silly question. Knowledge is power, so ask, research, and reach out to others who have been through it. People like us will always be happy to help, our TikTok inbox is always open.
We’ll always be proud of our journey, and proud to be part of this incredible IVF community.
The most rewarding part of this whole journey, other than having our beautiful girl, is how strong it has made us as a couple. We’re so proud of the way we supported each other and the fact that we never gave up, no matter how hard it got.
A thank you to care fertility
We also want to say a huge thank you to Care Fertility Tamworth. From our first consultation to our pregnancy scan, they were incredible. We honestly can’t fault them, they changed our lives in ways we never thought possible, and we will forever be grateful.
If you're on a similar journey
If Charlie and Tom’s story has struck a chord with you, whether you’re just starting to explore your fertility or have been trying for a while, we’re here to help. At Care Fertility, we understand how hard it can be to take that first step. But you don’t have to go through it alone. Get in touch with our expert team today and find out how we can support you, every step of the way.
